never.next.to.you.

always full of secrets. thought theres somethings that the world never deserves to know. a first time for everything that would change the appearance, the personality, if someone was to ever flip through the locked pages of life. never tell for months on end. confident enough to tell one soul. regrets born after the sixth. casting reasonable doubt on subconscious. pleading the fifth. keep eyes down. go back to a time of bliss in ignorance. rewind three in the morning self conversations. take the eyes of a liar; promised truth and painful revelations. ashamed to become what's contradictory; to grow up. keep everything inside before a wildfire. nothing but torment. persistent questioning of what will never be; what used to exist safely before escape. embarrassed to say thoughts, act on emotions. clandestine errors. silence of a beating heart. pediatric emotional control. play out, settle enough. a dollar for insides. general admission for silver screened secrets. star of the show absent on the red carpet. cut out the source. fish out of water will to live. no soul ownership. lost control. scream throat raw; fingers in ears, blank stares above spilled secrets flowing freely. restricted to the subject of whispers and hidden smiles.
dont wanna accept that ive broken.